1 - Where Do I Go For Warmth?

You ever feel stuck? Not in your job, or your house, or your routine; but inside? Like something in you is aching for more, but you can’t quite name it because it’s not just one thing?

1 - Where Do I Go For Warmth?

That’s a fear I carry. A kind of phobia, even. To be in a relationship; in a marriage; feeling like I built this life, did the right things, the responsible things… But still feeling alone.

1 - Where Do I Go For Warmth?

It’s not that she’s cruel. Not that she’s cold all the time. It’s the consistent excuse. The chosen neglect. It’s her always choosing her wants, her timing, her comfort… above the quiet, reasonable yearnings I bring. Not the irrational ones; I’m talking about the kind of needs a partner should show up for. And when she doesn’t… when she keeps falling short, wilfully… That’s when I start to feel it. Like something’s missing.

1 - Where Do I Go For Warmth?

I miss being touched without asking. I miss being kissed like I matter. I miss play. Flirting. Those little sparks that made me feel wanted, not just needed.

1 - Where Do I Go For Warmth?

You know what’s scary? That I could become the one who holds it all together; quietly. The one who earns, who shows up, who supports… Until somewhere along the way, I stop feeling seen. Until it starts to feel like she doesn’t know how to love me anymore. Like I’m not her partner. I’m just the infrastructure…